Chief Claus Is Coming to Town

The Department of the Air Force issued orders today to Chief Master Sergeant S. Claus, recalling him to active duty, with a RNLTD of 24 Dec 2018.

Chief Claus, known to use the alias “Saint Nicholas”, “Kris Kringle”, “Father Christmas”, or simply “Santa”, is a reservist, with 1,743 years of service. He specializes as a tactical operator of the next generation DEC-25B, Cargo Airborne Delivery (CAnDY) Carrier. The DEC-25B is contractor-modified and fully equipped with Cargo Antlered Navigation Equipment Sensors (CANES). It has also been retrofitted with eight high-powered, air-cooled Rangifer Tarandus carrot-fed generators. As a single seat cargo delivery platform, it is capable of vertical delivery of high-value items, take-off and landing without pilot controlled lighting (PCL). These unique specifications, coupled with the additional Public Affairs skill sets possessed by Chief Claus, classify the entire deployable package as a low-density, high-demand (LD/HD) asset.

Also recalled, were MSgts Dasher and Dancer, TSgts Prancer and Vixen, SSgts Comet and Cupid, SrA Donner, and A1C Blitzen (recently selected for SrA BTZ). Airman Rudolph is also authorized to report for duty; however, he must first successfully complete his Phase II SERE Training, which he has failed three times due to a medical condition related to his nose. Although the above Airmen are on orders for only 24 hours, it is anticipated that they will submit a travel claim for 24,901 miles at .56/mile, using a POV. Suitable Government transportation is not available. As a special operations unit, each member is granted a high level of uniform flexibility, as well as relaxed grooming standards. Per diem has been modified to include large quantities of hot cocoa and cookies. Gov’t travel card use has been authorized.


h/t LeAnne Thornton

Categories: Humor & Satire


6 replies

  1. Wow. Who knew Santa was such a bad ass?


  2. Cool! Santa is a government enlisted! And his deployment is on Christmas! Merry Christmas Kathy!


  3. Notice that he is not an officer.

    Liked by 1 person

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