1. You believe in freedom of speech except for anyone who dares to disagree with you
2. You think the words “separation of church and state” are in the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights
3. You believe money is the answer to everything, and if you throw enough money at a problem you can fix anything, even the truth.
4. You believe terrorists kill innocent people because they are misunderstood
5. You believe the same teacher who can’t teach your kids how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
6. You believe guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran.
7. You feel it is okay to ask for an ID to buy beer and cigarettes, but racist to require an ID to vote.
8. You believe it’s O.K. for illegal immigrants to live in the United States as long as they live very, very far away from you.
9. You believe global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth’s climate, than by soccer moms driving SUVs.
10. You believe gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
11. You are against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand
12. You believe self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
13. You believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
14. You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas are not.
15. You believe that parades celebrating “man-boy love,” transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, but manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
16. You believe this list is part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.
Spot on, Col. West. I would add that you might be a democrat if you think it’s okay for judges to endanger the country by halting a constitutional executive order to ban refugees. Y’all feel free to add your own.
Categories: Humor & Satire