The “M” word….by comedian Jeff Foxworthy
Have you ever wondered why it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, Jews, Christians, the Pope, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Hungarians, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad golfers, men/women, blacks/whites, etc., but its insensitive to make jokes about the Muslims?
Well, it’s time to level the playing field and be politically incorrect, by including our friends, the Muslims, on this grandiose list.
So Jeff Foxworthy did his part to include the Muslims on his list …
1. If you grow and refine heroin for a living, but morally object to the use of liquor, you might be a Muslim.
2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but can’t afford shoes, you might be a Muslim.
3. If you have more wives than teeth, you might be a Muslim.
4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon to be unclean, you might be a Muslim.
5. If you think vests come in two styles, Bullet-proof and suicide, you might be a Muslim.
6. If you can’t think of anyone that you haven’t declared jihad against, you might be a Muslim.
7. If you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, you might be a Muslim.
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses, other than setting off roadside bombs, you might be a Muslim.
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, then you, too, might be a Muslim.
10. If you find this offensive and do not forward it, you are part of the problem here in America …but if you delete this, you are most likely a Muslim.
Who says building a border wall won’t work?
The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don’t have any Mexicans.
BRILLIANCE IN 3 PARTS
Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.
Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.
Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.
In three generations, there will be no more Democrats.
The 10 Poorest Cities in America (How did it happen?)
City & State % of People below Poverty Level
1. Detroit, MI 32.5%
2. Buffalo, NY 29.9%
3. Cincinnati, OH 27.8%
4. Cleveland, OH 27.0%
5. Miami, FL 26.9%
5. St. Louis, MO 26.8%
7. El Paso, TX 26.4%
8. Milwaukee, WI 26.2%
9. Philadelphia, PA 25.1%
10. Newark, NJ 24.2%
What do these top ten cities (over 250,000 pop.) with the highest poverty rate have in common?
Detroit, MI – (1st on poverty rate list) hasn’t elected a Republican mayor since 1961
Buffalo, NY – (2nd) hasn’t elected one since 1954
Cincinnati, OH – (3rd) not since 1984
Cleveland, OH – (4th) not since 1989
Miami, FL – (5th) has never had a Republican mayor
St. Louis, MO – (6th) not since 1949
El Paso, TX – (7th) has never had a Republican mayor
Milwaukee, WI – (8th) not since 1908
Philadelphia, PA – (9th) not since 1952
Newark, NJ – (10th) not since 1907
Einstein once said, ‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’
It is the poor who habitually elect Democrats… yet they are still POOR. Are they insane… or JUST PLAIN STUPID?
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot help little men by tearing down big men.
You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.
You cannot build character and courage by destroying men’s initiative and independence.
And you cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they can and should do for themselves.
By: William John Henry Boetcker (1873–1962). Rev. Boetcker is perhaps best remembered for his authorship of a pamphlet entitled The Ten Cannots that emphasizes freedom and responsibility of the individual on himself.
H/T to my friend, Rock for his contributions
Categories: Humor & Satire