16 ISIS fighters killed when suicide vest explodes (prematurely)


This report came from the Daily Mail (dailymail.co.uk) on Oct. 3, 2016, but I felt that the headline didn’t properly describe what happened.

Their headline read:

16 ISIS fighters are killed when faulty suicide vest worn by one militant goes off during meeting to plan an attack in Iraq.”

My contention is that the vest wasn’t faulty – it did exactly what it was designed to do – kill anyone within its blast radius.

It was just unfortunate for those “fighters” that their timing was a little off.

The terrorists had been meeting to plot an attack on security forces in Iraq when apparently one of them apparently accidentally “butt-dialed” the trigger phone.

A spokesman, Ali bin Jerkin, assured the remaining apprentice terrorists that Allan Akbar, their fearless holy person, would indeed award the 1,153 virgin goats ready and waiting in heaven for the martyrs even though their mission hadn’t been completed.


Ahhh, don’t we all love a happy ending!



Categories: Political

6 replies

  1. yeah, and I lmao back when a suicide bomber’s vest went off during his own funeral procession. They forgot to unload his vest after he had got killed before reaching his target.


  2. I’d say that’s excellent timing – it took out the bad guys, right?


  3. Hahahaha! I thought this might be one of your satire stories, Garnet. What a delight to learn that it’s real!


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